Below are excerpts from recent conversations between us betrothed folk. On record for the sake of posterity.
On Mortgages and the American Housing Bust
Sean: Does your house qualify? “Borrowers who took out a mortgage with one of the following banks: Citibank, JP Morgan Chase, Wells Fargo, Bank of America, or Ally Financial (formerly known as GMAC). No other banks, mortgage servicers or government sponsored entities (Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae) are eligible. Borrowers who are in the process of being foreclosed on and borrowers whose house is worth less than the amount of their mortgage, otherwise known as “underwater” mortgages.”
Me: Mine is borrowed from [name redacted], a northwest community bank. I don’t think they have a larger bank that owns them? And my mortgage isn’t underwater, at least according to 2011 real market value.
Sean: An independent bank. Looks like at first glance you have the best deal compared to most Americans
Me: At first glance I’m a HOTTIE.
Invoking the Star Wars Universe, Far Beyond My Own Realm of Knowledge or Existence
I Really Like Puns
Me: Hey there, sir! Can you tell me the internal temperature of a tauntaun?
Sean: Why yes I can… Tauntauns although they are predominately cold weather creatures and are mammals their blood runs rather hot. When Alive a Tauntaun has an internal temp of 102 degrees Fahrenheit or 52 imperial temp units. However upon death and gutting from a lightsaber the temp drops rapidly. On average you only have 2 hours to get your ice shelter built before you freeze or die from the smell.
Me: WRONG. It’s Luke warm.
Sean: Ohhh man 🙂 52 degrees in imperial units = 1 Luke Kelvin unit or in layman’s terms, Luke warm.
On Serious Issues Regarding Life, Death, Our Future Together, and How it Always Goes Back to Anchorman
Me: I forgot to tell you. A coworker’s wife died of cancer last week. So sad. She’s been battling it for quite a while and he’s been out of the office a lot. He just came in this morning. Man.
Sean: Man that sucks.
Me: I was thinking about it yesterday, and how we view getting cancer, what with our genetics and all, as an inevitability for both/either of us. And that just fucking sucks. What also sucks: waiting to fight it only after you get it. When we can do all we can now to prevent it. Fight it first.
Sean: I totally agree. Cancer and diabetes freak me the fuck out.
Me: Exactly. Can we actively strive to put the genuine health (and not the soft focus, apathetic, conventional wisdom notion of “health”) at the forefront for us and our future family?
Sean: Let’s try.
Me: I phrased that wrong. I’m not asking whether or not we’re able, but asking that we do. Like, I think that before we get married and legally promise ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives, before we start making a family, that we honestly agree upon and create some sort of mission statement as to how we want to live our lives. And hold ourselves accountable to that, in case we get caught up in the myriad of things that happen in life
Sean: Mission statement 🙂 This is cute. I agree though.
Me: I’m on a tangent! 🙂 If we’re going to live our lives together, we better have the same idea as to its direction!
WAR ON RELIGION!!
Me: CHIPS AND GAMESTH
Wait, are we just shouting things?
Sean: I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE ARE YELLING ABOUT!!!!
Me: You killed a man with a triton**. You might want to lay low for a little while.
** see comments for post script