High fructose corn syrup, straight up

I spent a few days this weekend taking care of my mom after she had knee replacement surgery. (side note: take care of your knees!) At one point I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things for her, and one of the items was Diet Sprite (“Or 7-UP, if it’s considerably less expensive,” she said). I haven’t bought soda in years so I figured they’d be fairly close in price.

First shock: they ain’t. Or, at least, they weren’t at this store on that day. A 12-pack of Sprite cost NINE DOLLARS versus the same sized package of 7-UP for FIVE DOLLARS. Sweet, fructosey crap, why is there such a difference? It’s the same shit!

Second shock: I felt like an absolute asshole walking around a nice (read: yuppie Portland grocery store) with soda. I maybe drink pop in any of its incarnations 5 times a year, and usually that’s when it’s mixed with booze at a bar. I’ve never really enjoyed pop, and I think it’s a huge detriment to the health of our society as a whole and should be eliminated entirely, or at least the price jacked up 80% to prevent people from buying it. Even if it’s diet it is HORRIBLE. FOR. YOU.

“But look! This kind has zero calories,” you say. I say, “If their labs managed to make that crap have zero calories, there is no way in hell your body recognizes any of those ingredients. Don’t put it in your face.” Drink water. Or tea. Or even black coffee (don’t make me go on a rant about Starbucks drinks now). STOP DRINKING SODA ALREADY! Fuuuuuck.

Of course I didn’t say that to my mom, because shit, she just had her entire KNEE replaced. But in the end, I will gladly rant in person to anyone about pop/soda/Coke/whatever your region calls it. And I definitely judge you by what’s in your shopping cart, especially if it includes liters of Code Red Mountain Dew (I’m looking at you, Sean’s downstairs neighbors who leave their garbage bags piled up on their patio in plain sight) or bags of Reese’s Pieces and potato chips (large, large lady shopping at WinCo yesterday).

In summary, because this is getting rant-y: Please, please PLEASE try to drastically reduce the amount of processed CRAP you put in your body. Whole ingredients. Natural foods. C’mon.



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