The scene: Me driving to a friend’s soiree, in the dark, last night.
The ensemble: Pretty awesome little get up. Just needed a little bit of nude lip gloss.
The action: Reached into my purse, grabbed the lip gloss. Put it on as I drove, in the dark, without a mirror. Hey, it’s clear gloss. Can’t go wrong.
The delayed reaction: Two minutes later, felt my lips. They weren’t glossy. They were matte. Then remembered the deep, bright red lip stain I had in my purse.
The reality: My face looked like this:
The solution: Upon parking I rubbed off as much of the stubborn stuff as I could. My fingers looked like that dog’s paws. Still couldn’t get it all off. Covered up the remainder with nude lipstick.
The recovery: Instantly told the HILARIOUS story upon my arrival, thereby offering an instantaneous excuse for me hoorish face. Rocked hoorish face the rest of the night. Cringed upon looking in the mirror at home. Still had a good time.