The font I loathe the most

Motherfuckin’ PAPYRUS.

papyrusEvery stinkin’ company who wants to come off as earthy, yet sophisticated, natural, yet classy uses this font as their logo. Walk the streets of downtown Hood River and you’ll count at least 5 businesses in a 4 block radius that use the damn thing. Its gross overusage has me on frequent rants to absolute strangers, some of which seem offended at me spewing hate upon their beloved font.

It’s a default Microsoft font for godssakes. Either you, as the businessowner, have hired a super shitty graphic designer who’s phoning it in from a laptop in a podunk coffee shop with free wifi, or you designed it using Publisher. Worse yet, Word. There is a reason for graphic designers folks, and I’ll let you in on a secret– most semi-talented graphic designers loathe Papyrus. Using it makes you look unoriginal and cheap. There are thousands of fonts out there that can accomplish the same feel without being so entirely fraught with shit.

That being said, imagine my chagrin when a brewery using my family name pops up here in Oregon (also known as Beervana) with less than stellar logo. Initially I was pretty excited, especially upon hearing that they produce some righteous brews.  Then I saw their label and cursed the heavens.

NOOOOOOO!!!!

NOOOOOOO!!!!

My last name is Heater. I’m a graphic designer by trade. I do marketing for an Oregon craft brewing company. Seeing this offense by Heater Allen Brewing keeps me from ever, EVER trying their beers. I think you guys did it just to fuck with me. Seriously.

To the folks behind Heater Allen Brewing Company, who if they’re smarter than their label implies, have a Google Alert set up for the company name: I will design you a better label. It will still have all the original elements you’ve used thus far (props on the unique die cut, by the way), but it won’t use that hideous, horrible, godawful font Papyrus. For the sake of family, yo.

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One Response to “The font I loathe the most”

  1. Rick Allen Says:

    Sorry, I can’t afford to be paying everyone who wants to “help” me run my business. I’m more concerned about making great beer. I do understand the issue though, and I’m working on it – my seasonal labels will have a new look as they roll out (Bobtoberfest has come and gone, but Sandy Paws is coming up), and the regulars will change in a year or two.

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