What’s the Most Badass Thing You Can* Do?


I’m talking something to the extent of doing a frontside kickflip on a skateboard off an elderly, endangered panda’s back while drinking ultra extreme Mountain Dew and wearing an inverted crucifix.

How about eating an E. coli-infected Taco Bell (see the corporate name drops? yeah, I’m waiting to get paid here) burrito supreme on the deck of that ill-fated boat from The Perfect Storm, while shouting into the sky in between meaty mouthfuls, “By the power of Grayskull… I HAVE THE POWER!”

(burrito enlarged for effect)

(burrito enlarged for effect)

Or something so simple that we’ve all considered, such as tipping over a neatly parked row of souped-up Harleys like glinting chrome dominoes– and then wait for the reaction, arms crossed, smile smug, pocket protector intact.

A suggestion almost as equally awesome, once in the grocery store my grandma noted an entire open cooler full of eggs, and said to me with a mischievous tone, “Don’t you just wanna smash ’em all?”

The options are truly endless. I fully accept other suggestions, especially from the other two members of the unofficial Trifecta of Three (coughahem! PatandMark!).


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2 Responses to “What’s the Most Badass Thing You Can* Do?”

  1. Mark Says:

    Fly a kite in Golden Gate Park wearing only a speedo with the back/rear cut out in hi-top sneakers and a sign that says “Sperm Bank” on your back.

  2. madamvonsassypants Says:

    Way to take “bad ass” literally there, Mark. Badass indeed.

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