This is me.

The Anatomy of Madam von Sassypants

The Anatomy of Madam von Sassypants

Well, if I was split in half. And had a pageboy haircut. And a fetus growing inside my womb. Really, that infant shows more of the potential of what my womb could be, like furniture that’s not included in a house you’re looking to purchase. In theory my uterus can hold such a creature, but thankfully as of yet that theory hasn’t been tested nor proved. THANKS BIRTH CONTROL!

Now that we’ve established what my guts look like when numbered, that I’ve never been knocked up and am familiar with contraceptives, HEY! What’s up? How are you doing? You’re looking great. Uh huh… right… oh that’s great. Mmmhmm…

I’m going to go, uh, over here and uh, get… a drink, and… hey! Yeah, it’s been great. You should call me sometime, we’ll do coffee. Sure. Yeah, take care!

I’m going to skip the initial blog mission statement of what this site is or isn’t. I’ll let you know that A.) This ain’t my first rodeo, B.) I like pictures, namely aesthetically- or funny bone- pleasing ones, C.) Comments, links, racial slurs in my direction, cats, cans o’ beans in hobo slings, and almost anything besides spam are all pretty damn swell. Ah, yes. And Jesus riding a dinosaur, or pretty much any dinosaurs are free to roam through them these here parts.


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2 Responses to “Hi.”

  1. interestingguy Says:

    It is IMPERATIVE that you name a cat Baron von Sassycat.

  2. madamvonsassypants Says:

    That’s funny since I had just suggested to someone that they name their puppy Baron. Except I then suggested that its last name be von Butthole.

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